A Very Last Minute Wedding - -Literally!!!

You literally never know what the next hour could bring. I was in my front yard last Saturday morning just about done planting a hydrangea bush (I love those big gorgeous flowers), when my daughter brought out my ringing cell phone. As I took off one of my gardening gloves to answer the phone, it was a hysterical bride. Her wedding party and approximately 20 guests were at a park in Bergen County waiting for the officiant who never showed; it was now nearly an hour after the ceremony was to begin.

Somone had given her my contact information and she wanted to know if I could come to the rescue and marry them. As you can imagine, it wasn’t the best of times for me – being knee deep in dirt, no makeup, and my limp hair hanging. But they were really in a bind. Wanting to help them out, I said I would try my best to accommodate them, but one thing was for sure - - I told them I had to take a shower and change clothes and if they could change locations to a park closer to where I live to save time and give me half an hour, I’d be there. Of course, I did ask if they had their marriage license (which they did).

I’ve never moved so fast – in the shower, blow dry my hair, grab an outfit, and sorry – no time for makeup ( I was hoping my dazzling personality would hide any imperfections!!). I grabbed a “short and sweet” ceremony I did a while ago, wrote the bride and groom’s name on a “sticky” so I could replace the previous names with the new bride and groom, grabbed my daughter to come along for pictures, and off I went!!!

I hadn’t been Van Saun Park in years, since my kids were little so I really didn’t know where we should go for the ceremony. We initially met at the “pony rides” and after meeting the bride, groom, and the rest of the clan, we signed the marriage certificate and then proceeded to get in our cars where I would lead the way to find a more appropriate ceremony location than hearing little kids screeches on ponies. Driving only 30 seconds up the road, I noticed a pretty location on the left and drove into a parking lot on the other side of the road. Well, it turned out we couldn’t have had a nicer location if it was planned. There was a cobble road (that we used for the processional) leading up to a beautiful arch of gorgeous plants and flowers. It was secluded, beautiful, and just perfect!

Not being one to toot my own horn, I’m proud to say that the ceremony went off without a hitch as if it had been planned for months. The bride and groom and the parents were ecstatic, telling me I saved the day. It was a great feeling helping someone in need and knowing that they were so pleased with the results. I do hope though that I’m not setting a trend. I do like the luxury of thinking about what I want to wear with what accessories, putting on make-up, and being able to rehearse pronouncing hard sounding names. Well as they say, “you can’t have your wedding cake and eat it.”

Including Children in your wedding ceremony

Couples often ask me if it’s customary to have children in the ceremony and what’s too young to go down the aisle. Being a Celebrant, I believe there are no right or wrong answers. Rather, whatever brings you and the children involved a sense of belonging and happiness.
Many couples today come to their second marriages with children of their own. If that’s the case, it’s very important that they be recognized or participate in some aspect of the ceremony. Involving the children helps them transition to the new relationship they are now a part of.
Depending on their age and desire to participate, you can either have them hear their names mentioned in the ceremony or take an active role. Mentioning their names assures that they are an important part of the occasion and gives them a special status which other guests do not have.
For younger children, usually a simple task of holding the rings or bouquet is enough to accomplish a feeling of participation. For teenagers, it can be as simple as standing up with the couple, participating in group vows, or lighting a unity candle.
I always recommend that couples be sensitive to the children’s feelings. If a child is reluctant to be involved, respect their point of view and never force it. Remind them that their presence is very important to you both and that will be enough if that is all they want to do. But do remember to get a picture of all of you on this special day as it’s the beginning of a new family.
Being a mother of three young adults, I know that kids are very creative. Listen to their suggestions and you may be surprised at their ideas. And finally, remember to give each child a wedding gift to thank them for their love, support, and participation.