Including Children in your wedding ceremony

Couples often ask me if it’s customary to have children in the ceremony and what’s too young to go down the aisle. Being a Celebrant, I believe there are no right or wrong answers. Rather, whatever brings you and the children involved a sense of belonging and happiness.
Many couples today come to their second marriages with children of their own. If that’s the case, it’s very important that they be recognized or participate in some aspect of the ceremony. Involving the children helps them transition to the new relationship they are now a part of.
Depending on their age and desire to participate, you can either have them hear their names mentioned in the ceremony or take an active role. Mentioning their names assures that they are an important part of the occasion and gives them a special status which other guests do not have.
For younger children, usually a simple task of holding the rings or bouquet is enough to accomplish a feeling of participation. For teenagers, it can be as simple as standing up with the couple, participating in group vows, or lighting a unity candle.
I always recommend that couples be sensitive to the children’s feelings. If a child is reluctant to be involved, respect their point of view and never force it. Remind them that their presence is very important to you both and that will be enough if that is all they want to do. But do remember to get a picture of all of you on this special day as it’s the beginning of a new family.
Being a mother of three young adults, I know that kids are very creative. Listen to their suggestions and you may be surprised at their ideas. And finally, remember to give each child a wedding gift to thank them for their love, support, and participation.